Funnies

Greg sent me these. I had to share.

Challenge

My work/scrapping girlfriends and I decided that we were tired of my cousin Deb being the only one to ever make scrapbook pages, so we challenged each other to create at least 25 pages by the end of July. We each picked a theme with the idea that we would turn our pages in to a printed book at some point. I choose to do my Hawaii cruise. Here are the pages I've made so far. What do you think? Suggestions? Comments? (Gentle) Critiques?

What Next?

I haven't been properly complementary to my wonderful husband Greg for how well he's been taking care of me through this broken ankle thing. He's taken me to the ER, made me breakfast, lunch, dinner, snacks, and dessert and brought them all upstairs to me. He's had to take over all the duties I usually do, including taking the dogs out, dishes, laundry, and trash disposal. He's driven me to my doctor appointment for the cast, the library, and to work to pick up a lap top (that didn't work).

He's done all this wonderful caring stuff for me for the past week and a half despite the fact that he's been fighting his own pain. His back went out again the day before I broke my ankle. And of course, he hasn't been sleeping. So here he is, waiting on me hand and foot (hee hee) and fighting his own pain, tiredness, and the migraines he gets from the combination of back pain and no sleep. He's been sick from the pain medication and despite all this has knocked himself out to keep me fed and watered and the house running.

Last night, as he was getting out of the shower, Greg broke his pinky toe. Isn't this ugly?





I sure would like to know what God intends us to learn from all this. If you have any idea, please let me know, because we are baffled. I hesitate to wonder what will be next.

Countdown....One Month!

I just wanted to point out that it is only ONE MONTH until Harry Potter & the Deathly Hallows comes out. Just in case you missed it on my little counter thingy. One month!

Have I mentioned that I can't wait?

Tired

I can not believe how much work it is to have a broken ankle. Sheesh. I'm exhausted. I drove the car a little today. Ouch. My ankle is really hurting. I just about put Greg through the windshield because I had to break with my left foot and I was a little over enthusiastic. You may laugh, but try it next time you are driving. It's harder than you think!

Went to Costco today and tried out the old wheelchair. It's better than the crutches, that's for sure. Well, that's not saying much, actually, but I didn't manage to fall over anything in it. Gravity is NOT my friend, let me tell you. Well, maybe this will give me the kick in the butt I need to start exercising and loose some weight. Maybe.

When I couldn't find a comfortable spot last night, I was playing around with my phone and found the picture I took after I took my splint off for my shower. Pretty, huh?



I'm going to try to go to work tomorrow. I'm not sure how this is going to work, but I'll give it a shot. I can use the cruise control for most of my drive to work, but all the surface roads are going to be a bitch. Keep your fingers crossed!

Almost a Week

Here are some pictures for your viewing pleasure.

This is my ankle in the cast with a little foot thingy in it. The foot thingy is actually pretty helpful even though I can't put weight on my ankle. I can at least use the foot for balance when I trip over the rug in the entry way like I did this morning. (Told you I was terrible with these damned crutches!)

Like the color?


These are flowers sent to me by my bestest letterboxing buddies. Aren't they sweet?Thanks Marmalade!! She brought these flowers over to my house herself yesterday and then I couldn't get to the door to let her in. She drove all the way over here just for that, too. What a sweetheart!


Hmm, maybe I should have moved all the crap off my desk before I took the picture.

So tomorrow at 6:00 a.m. it will have been a week since I broke my ankle. Can you believe it? I'm mentally ready to go back to work, but physically...not so much. I think I'm just too old and fat to have a broken ankle.

Clean!

I got to take a shower and wash my hair today. Wheee-ewww! It was heaven. I hadn't had a shower since Wednesday morning. Eeewwww. I was disgusting. I took my splint off and Greg put a laundry soap bucket in the bathtub for me to sit on, so I scrubed up and feel so much better!

9:00 tomorrow morning I go for my cast. Yay!

Kris's Kompletely Krappy Day Part 2

Okay, where was I? Oh, yes. We were going to continue the story of the ER.
First, here is a picture of my ankle, taken with my cell phone during the 4 hours I was at the ER waiting to be cared for:

Not too disgusting, right?

And here's another picture with the ice pack attached. It just looked so weird and I was a little wigged out from all the pain that taking pictures with my cell phone seemed like a good idea at the time.


So after the nursette came and gave me the ice (see above picture), we waited around some more for the x-ray techs to come and take pictures of my leg. While we were waiting for x-ray, a doctorette (he was really a physician's assistant, but I like doctorette better) came in and poked at my ankle a bit. He said he'd have to see the x-rays, but he thought it was just sprained.

So we waited some more. Greg played with the purple surgical gloves in the room, while I tried to evesdrop on the nurses that were standing in their station that just happened to be right outside my room. The snotty nurse came over and scolded us for having the door open because it "compromised patient confidentiality." Whatever. Like I cared what anyone else's problems were in there at the moment. I think she just didn't want us to hear that they were out there gossiping and not working.

Somewhere in here a person from reception came in and went over all the information we gave them when we first checked in. They sure ask a lot of personal questions. They even wanted to know if I had a living will or a do not resusitate order. "Good God!" I said. "I think it's just a sprained ankle!" Sheesh.

After another hour or so of waiting a chirpy young nurse came to take me to the x-ray room. She was really nice and we just about wiped out an ER doctor who wasn't paying attention when she stopped me in front of him. He gave us a really dirty look, and she and I giggled like schoolgirls. Okay, it was funny at the time. Maybe you had to be there.

Why do they make tables in x-ray rooms a fixed height? Does anyone else think that it would be a good idea to have it go up and down like a hairdresser's chair? Sheesh. All that technology and you still have to hop up on a table. That was entertaining, trying to get this fat woman up on that table with one leg. I was afraid I'd fall on the little x-ray tech guy and squash him flat. Instead I managed to bang my head on the x-ray machine getting up on the table and saw stars for a while.

Three pictures of my ankle later I had to fall off the table back in to my wheelchair and head back in to the cell, er, I mean room. More waiting. Eventually, my x-rays showed up and someone had kept the door open just enough that Greg could see the crowd looking at them. So the doctorette came back in and said "Well, it's broken." Oh, poop. "No," he says, "that's a good thing." Say WHAT? "Breaks heal faster and better than sprains." Oh goody. I broke the fibula (bone on the outside of my ankle) which is "not a weight bearing bone" according to the doctorette. Oh goody. I'm not sure how he sees any of my bones as non-weight bearing, but whatever.

Two other people came in a bit later (things were starting to move now) and wrapped my leg in a stocking and put a splint thing on my leg. It's hard plaster on the bottom and around my ankle, then wrapped in an elastic bandage. I guess they don't cast breaks like this until a few days later so the swelling can go down.

They sent me home with some pain pills and instructions to stay off it for 5-7 days.

While these two were wrapping my leg the snotty nurse came back in and said "I told you it was broken!" Greg and I weren't sure what exactly to say to this.
All this only took 4 1/2 hours. I can't wait to see the bills.

I have an appointment to go to an orthopedic place on Monday for more x-rays and a real cast. I think I'm looking forward to this.

So here it is, four days later. I can not believe how much work having a broken ankle is. Just going down the hall to the bathroom is an ordeal, and I'm not even going to tell you about going up and down the stairs. I can't stay up too long because my ankle starts throbbing and hurting even worse if I don't keep it elevated. So I've been spending a lot of time in my room reading or listening to books on tape.

Greg has been totally great. He filled my prescription and got me some crutches. He brings me meals and snacks and checks in with me to make sure I'm doing okay. He's been so sweet. I'm going to owe him big-time. For the first time in our 15 years together I made him go down the feminine hygine aisle and buy stuff for me(because what could make a broken ankle any worse? Starting your period the same day! Woo hoo. God has a wicked sense of humor).

My mom and grandma came over yesterday and brought me a big basket of goodies with sudoku books, a plushy soft blankie, a shower massager, and all kinds of other stuff to keep me entertained as well as lunch. Wasn't that sweet?

I have no idea how I'm going to take a shower. I haven't even tried yet, since going to the bathroom is such a production. I'm a two-shower-a-day kind of girl, so going without a shower for this long is awful. You won't be seeing any pictures of me for a while!

So if anyone has any brilliant showering on one foor ideas, let me know!

So there you have it. Kris's Kompletely Krappy Day. Stay tuned. I'm sure Monday's appointment and the shower will be worthy of a post or two.

Kris's Kompletely Krappy Day Part 1

I had a REALLY crappy day yesterday. Kompletely krappy. Let me tell you all about it.

I got up yesterday and everything was perfectly normal. I took a shower, got dressed, checked my email, let the dogs out. All the usual stuff. I needed to take out the trash before I could leave, so I took my stuff out to the car, opened the garage door and pulled the two garbage cans out to the curb. Because we had done a bunch of cleaning this weekend I had a lot of cardboard and plastics to recycle sitting on the porch. I walked over to pick up the box holding the plastics, turned and found myself on the sidewalk on my back staring at the sky wondering what the heck had happened.

After that first shock of "Oh my gosh, am I dying?" that you always get when you hurt yourself, I realized I wasn't dead, and that my left ankle hurt. When I managed to drag myself to the step and sit down, I realized it wasn't my left ankle, but my right ankle. Ow. Really hurt! I sat on the step for a while and tried to get the pain under control enough so I didn't barf all over. I waved to the neighbor who was taking out his trash and apparently didn't think it was weird that I was sitting on my front step at 6:00 and the morning and doing nothing.

I managed to get to my feet and hobble over to the car where I had left my purse. I got out my phone and called Ann to tell her I thought I sprained my ankle and wouldn't be by to pick her up as usual. Then I managed to hobble back into the house, let the dogs back in and collapse on the couch. I called for Greg a few times, but he sleeps with earplugs, so he couldn't hear me.

So I hung out on the couch for a while with my leg elevated, swelling and starting to turn pretty colors. I was pretty darned sure I sprained it. I tried to get up and go to the bathroom once, but I couldn't put any weight on my ankle, so I gave up.

When I heard Greg stirring I called him down and told him what I had done. He got me some ice for it while he showered and had breakfast. I called my doctor to make sure that there wasn't something else I needed to do. He asked me a bunch of questions and said he wanted to see me because it sounded like more than a sprain. He couldn't get me in until about 1:45, so we headed to the ER.

I have to say Southwest Washington Medical Center's staff is nothing like the staff of Scrubs. Nothing. One really weird thing is that they have free valet parking for the emergency room. Um, okay. That's nice and all but kinda weird, don't you think?

Anyway, we waited in the ER waiting room for an hour and a half. ER waiting rooms are so weird. Nobody in it every looks really sick or injured or anything. There was someone hacking up a lung and one lady clinging on to a barf bowl like it was a lifeline, but everyone else looked fine. I still had to wait forever, so I guess that triage thing is all a bunch of hooey.

So I after getting my own little cubical in the REAL ER I got to wait another eternity for 1) a nurse, 2) a doctor, 3) the x-ray technician. During this time I got to tell everyone who walked by and asked that I tripped on the sidewalk and hurt my ankle. Has there ever been a stupider way to hurt yourself? Honestly.

I finally got to see a nurse who told me off for chewing gum while waiting to be seen in the ER ("it promotes stomach acid production. If you had to go to surgery you'd have all this stomach acid in your stomach." Oh. My bad. Maybe they should post a sign saying that in the waiting room. There are signs that say everything else!). She tells me she thinks the ankle is broken but she's "been wrong before." A nursette comes in and hands me a bad of ice and leaves without a word. Um, right. And I'm supposed to keep this ice on my ankle how exactly? I'm not a contortionist, people! Greg goes and asks the gabbing gaggle of nurses if there is something he can use to attach the ice to my ankle and someone brings in an ace bandage and wraps in on. There ya go!

Okay, I have to go put my foot up now. Stay tuned for Part 2 of Kris's Kompletely Krappy Day where you'll get to meet the ER doctorette, the ER receptionist, more of the snotty ER nurse who yells at us for having the door open, the x-ray technicians, and the two unknown people who wrap up my foot. Wow, I bet you can't wait!

Oh, and I took pictures in the ER cubical with my cell phone. Got in trouble for that, too, but I'll post those too.

And just so you don't die of curiosity before I get to Part 2...the damned ankle is broken.

Gotta Love You-Tube

Cartoons to Make You Smile

Ick

I had THE most horrible thing happen to me this morning. Horrible. I shudder to think of it still.

I went to the Starbucks drive through that just opened over by where my mother-in-law works (we drive together now, you know) for a hot chocolate and a scone. I placed my order, got my cup and sweet bag and tootled on to work. At the next red light I took a sip of my drink and found it to be COFFEE!!!!! Coffee! In my hot chocolate cup! I stared at the cup in complete disbelief. How on earth do you confuse a coffee with a hot chocolate? The don’t even have the same number of syllables! I looked at the cup and noticed it had a sticker on it that said “Vanilla Latte.” Does vanilla latte sound ANYTHING like hot chocolate?

I’m sure they just mixed up the drinks they handed me at the window because they read it all back correctly. But still. I tasted coffee! Ugh. I can’t abide coffee. It just tastes all nasty. I’ve tried and I just hate it. I don’t like things flavored with coffee either. And you can’t make me!

So here I am, hot chocolate-less, with the nasty coffee taste still in my mouth, even after a diet Coke. Oh, and to add insult to injury, the stupid cup spilled all over my hand on the way up here. Some of it even had the nerve to spill on my shirt! So now I not only have nasty coffee feel and taste in my mouth I have a stain on my new top! And I can smell coffee. All this from a beverage I can’t stand. There is no justice in this world.

Charlene was happy, though. She got a free vanilla latte out of the deal this morning. She was the first person I saw when I got here, so I gave it to her. I guess I’ll consider it my good deed for the day.

Counter

I found this cool countdown thing to Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows release. Cool, huh?

Zen Sarcasm

1. Do not walk behind me, for I may not lead. Do not walk ahead of me, for I may not follow. Do not walk beside me either. Just pretty much leave me the hell alone.

2. The journey of a thousand miles begins with a broken fan belt and a leaky tire.

3. Its always darkest before dawn, so if you're going to steal your neighbor's newspaper, that's the time to do it.

4. Don't be irreplaceable. If you can't be replaced, you can't be promoted.

5. Always remember that you're unique. Just like everyone else.

6. Never test the depth of the water with both feet.

7. If you think nobody cares if you're alive, try missing a couple of car payments.

8. Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you criticize them, you're a mile away and you have their shoes.

9. If at first you don't succeed...... skydiving isn’t not for you.

10. Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish, and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day.

11. If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything.

12. Some days you're the bug, some days you're the windshield.

13. Everyone seems normal until you get to know them.

14. The quickest way to double your money is to fold it in half and put back in your pocket.

15. A closed mouth gathers no foot.

16. Duct tape is like 'The Force'. It has a light side and a dark side, and it holds the universe together.

17. There are two theories to arguing with a woman - Neither one works.

18. Generally speaking, you aren't learning much when your lips are moving.

19. Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it.

20. Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative

In a Yugo

I heard this spoof song a long time ago on Rush Limbaugh's site. Yes, I like Rush, so shut up. Greg found this video of it on You Tube. I had to share. I laughed hard enough for Coke to come out my nose when they "swerve to miss a baby duck".

Enjoy!

Organizing

So my girlfriends at work and I have a challenge going. We have decided that we will each finish a scrapbooking project by the end of August. So I sat down today to work on planning my pages. I have one file of all my digital scrapping stuff that isn't well organized. I've been bitching and moaning that I just don't know how to organize it all because I've got so much stuff now that I've either bought or downloaded for free.

I came up with this great idea tonight...I'll just save it on a disk! Wow! Why didn't I think of this before?! It's the answer to everything! Then I went and looked at the size of my file and found out that it is 10.5 GIGABYTES! Yow! I had no idea that I had so much stuff.

So my brilliant idea came to a crashing end. I'll have to think of something else now. Maybe I'll just go ahead and use my organizer in Elements. I don't know.

New New Look

Okay the consensus was that the new look I choose last week was boring. Somehow you people have gotten the idea that I am actually creative. I don't know where that came from, but how's this? A little pink maybe, but definately different!

New Look Again

I decided it was time for a new look on the blog. What do you all think? Is it me? I'll probably play around with it for a while before settling down, so don't be surprised if it changes again.