10 Truths About All Dogs

I am so bummed. Sophie's Household manners class was cancelled for tonight. Stupid instructor is sick. Be sick on your own time, buddy! I have a dog in desperate need of training!! I was so looking forward to taking her to class today.

After I picked the girls up from day care last week, I decided to take Sophie in to Natural Pet on the way home and do some taste tests on treats. Natural Pet is this really yuppie pet store that I like. They carry all kinds of holistic foods and treats, are really nice and friendly, and they are always willing to let you sample before you buy (unlike some of those other pet stores *coughpetsmartcocough*).

I may have mentioned before that my dogs are not really all that motivated by food. When we had Sophie in obedience classes we tried hot dogs, Brie cheese, steak, string cheese, cheddar cheese, liver, and about a zillion other things with limited success. Sophie likes treats, but for the most part, she doesn't get too excited about them. If she doesn't want to do something, no treat we've tried yet is going to change her mind. So when I went into the store, I did not have high hopes we would find anything. But I was willing to try. Usually when we are out in a store or somewhere she will politely take a treat and then spit it out on the floor, completely uninterested. After trying a few different types, I found these treats that she showed some interest in. They are called ZiwiPeak and have venison and green-lipped mussel in them. Sounds icky, doesn't it? They are kind of like a jerky and are really smelly. I offered her a tiny taste and she scarfed it right down and looked to me for more. She liked them so much, in fact, that she sat and then LAY DOWN on the cold cement floor in the store for another one. I was astounded. She NEVER does that. Put her tummy on the cold hard floor??? I don't think so! I bought two packages, so I'm sure when we get to class she'll have decided that she hates them. My little princess.

I had to go look up green-lipped mussels, because I had never heard of them before. I guess they are used as a supplement for arthritis. They are from New Zealand. I'll bet that is way more than you ever wanted to know about a dog treat in your life, isn't it?

I'll let you know next week if they worked in training or not. I have a back up treat, so all is not lost if they don't. These are called Tiny Tots and are a lamb meat treat. She ate those at the Pet & Companion Fair and thinks they are pretty hot stuff, too. If THOSE don't work, I have a back up back up treat. Baby food. If all else fails, I'll try her squeaky toy. I am determined to get this dog interested in coming to me when I call her!! No more running up to the expressway at 3:00 in the morning.

I found my paperwork from the lecture last week and thought I would share with you the 10 Truths About All Dogs as per Shawn, the gay, and sick, dog trainer.

1. Everything is a chew toy. There is no difference between their toy and the remote control to the dog.
2. Totally amoral; no right vs. wrong. There is only safe vs. dangerous
3. Innocently self-interested. Dogs will not do something for you just because you are nice enough to love them
4. Dogs only learn through operant and classical conditioning. They do not learn through observation and insight.
5. They are PREDATORS! This means that search, chase, grab, dissect, and chew are all hardwired behaviors.
6. They have very strong social bonds. They are not born with any ability to inherently deal with isolation.
7. There is a very limited socialization window. If a dog is past 16 weeks old (4 months), than any new situation is fight vs. flee.
8. All dogs are opportunistic scavengers. If it is there eat it now!
9. Ritualized aggression is what keeps real violence from happening. Dogs do not write letters to the editor.
10. They have a very well developed olfactory system and smell in parts per billion. You have to figure out how to more interesting to your dog then all of the rest of the smells in the world.

And that is your dog training lesson for the day.