Were you able to find:
a) the Planet Earth?
b) North America?
c) the United States of America?
d) Washington State?
e) Long Beach?
How hard was it? Really, be honest here. Could your kindergartener have done it? Yeah, well, the IDIOT at Liberty Mutual Road Side Assistance couldn’t do it. It took her TWENTY (20) minutes just to figure out where we were. Here is an abbreviated excerpt (the repeatable part) of our conversation:
Idiot at Liberty Mutual Road Side Assistance Hotline: “So you’re in Port Ludlow?”
Me: “No, I’m on 101 just outside of Long Beach.”
I.A.L.M.R.S.A.H: “I don’t see Long Beach.”
Me: “Well, the next biggest town near by would be Astoria, Oregon.”
I.A.L.M.R.S.A.H (sounding annoyed): “Oh, you’re in Oregon.”
Me (trying to be patient): “No, I’m in Washington State. On Hwy 101. Outside of Long Beach. And Ilwaco. At mile marker 7.”
I.A.L.M.R.S.A.H: “What’s the cross street?”
Me: “I’m sorry, I don’t see a sign showing me a cross street.”
I.A.L.M.R.S.A.H: “Well, I’m not finding Long Beach and I don’t see that 101 is in Washington.”
Me: “Um, Highway 101 goes all up and down the west coast of the United States. It’s a pretty major interstate highway. You should be able to find it. ”
I.A.L.M.R.S.A.H: (rattles off some cities I can’t remember)
Me: “None of those cities are near where I am. I’m pretty sure those are all in NORTHERN Washington State. I’m in southern Washington. Just over the Oregon/Washington border.”
I.A.L.M.R.S.A.H: “Can you stop a policeman and ask him where you are?”
Like policemen are just flocking by us in droves…we’ve seen one. In 20 minutes.
Me (teeth now gritted): “We did have a policeman stop and ask us if we were okay and he confirmed that we are on Hwy 101 at mile marker 7 in Washington State. That should really get you close enough.”
I.A.L.M.R.S.A.H: “Do you have an address?”
Me: “No, I’m sorry. We are just on an empty stretch of the highway. I don’t see any houses or street signs or anything. I just know that we are at mile maker 7. Are you looking at a computer map? Maybe I can guide you a little closer.”
I.A.L.M.R.S.A.H: “No.”
I.A.L.M.R.S.A.H: “Well, how about a zip code?”
Me (scrabbling around for the map I picked up at the campground earlier in the day): “Um, let me look at the ads on this map. Just a second…okay here’s one that doesn’t just have a phone number…98624.”
I.A.L.M.R.S.A.H (finally finding me): “Well I have all these intersections (she rattles them all off really quickly). Are you near any of them?” (I find out later that she DID find Ilwaco finally and was reading me street names from downtown Ilwaco…about 5 miles away).
Me: “Um, like I said before, I don’t see any street signs, addresses or anything.”
I.A.L.M.R.S.A.H: “I’m going to put you on hold.”
I’m not even kidding. I am not exaggerating for dramatic effect. This woman was totally this stupid. Unbelievable.
And just because all you babies whined about me not posting in so long, I'm going to make you wait another day for Part III. HA!
4 comments:
Geez! Isn't there some kind of blog rule that limits the length of these babies? Just kidding . . . really:)
Meanwhile, back at City Hall, all of your coworkers are thankful that they are not in your shoes.
Wow! What an adventure. Had that been me on my cell phone with that idiot, the battery would have gone dead.
I'm just happy you wrote, so I'm not complaining at all about the length :)
Deb
ps. I didn't look it up. You know how lazy I am.
This has nothing to do with your blog. Although I am curious to see part III:)
I need your blogpertise. When someone comments - how do I respond to their comment? That doesn't sound right but I'm betting you know what I mean.
Thanks again! You are awesomely helpful at work and off of the clock. I've come to depend on you so much at work. It's true!
Ritha, you can either email back from the reply or just leave a comment in the comments. Of course I don't think you can reply to comment on the blog...I think you can on mine, but I use wordpress.
Come on Kris, how about a part III?
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