It's Cancelled

That's it. Christmas is cancelled this year. No, no arguments. You people obviously can not handle celebrating Christmas at the appropriate time and in the appropriate manner, so I'm going to have to take it away from you.

I went through Penny's yesterday, November 2nd, on my way to the library. They had their Christmas decorations up in the store. Not just the ones for sale, either. And the lady at the library told me that the decorations were put up BEFORE HALLOWEEN.

This is just wrong.

All holidays should be celebrated in the appropriate order and at the appropriate time. In Kris's Holiday Book there is an approved celebratory calender.

Halloween decorations may go up on October 1. Halloween themed parties are allowed any time during October. Fall colors should be enjoyed as long as possible. Pumpkin patches can be visited any time this month. You may make Christmas travel plans at this time, but really, you should have done them months before now.

Thanksgiving decorations may go up on November 1. Plans for Thanksgiving celebrations may be savored and anticipated for the three weeks of the month before the big day. Thoughts of Christmas plans may be started, but at no time will they interfere with the planning and execution of Thanksgiving. Full attention will be focused on giving thanks for the important things in your life at this time. DISCREET Christmas shopping is allowed during this time. At no time is bragging to your co-workers that your Christmas shopping is completed is allowed. Early Christmas bazaars may be attended, but only sparingly.

The Friday after Thanksgiving is soon enough for the Christmas insanity to begin. Shopping is allowed on this date. You may get out your "John Denver & the Muppets: A Christmas Together" CD and begin listening to get yourself in the spirit. Christmas cards may be started and mailed. No Christmas decorations may be put up until December 1. Once December 1 rolls around, all Christmas celebrations are completely sanctioned. Go wild. You may celebrate all 25 days of the Christmas season in any way you'd like.

Starting December 26th, the Christmas insanity must start winding down. Take the time to finish out the year. Enjoy the last few days before the new year. This is a good time to take stock of your life and plan for the year ahead. Start thinking about taking down the Christmas decorations. You may leave them up until after New Years, but they must be put away no later than the first weekend of January after New Years. Only my mother and other people who manically decorate have a special dispensation on this date. She may have until January 15th to put her stuff away because she has so much of it and needs the extra time!

See? It's easy enough. It's way easier when you just cancel the whole thing altogether, though.