I have decided that there is a real and immediate need for new cell phone legislation. It should now be illegal to talk on the phone while driving a grocery cart. People, if you can’t handle the responsibility of pushing a grocery cart while on the phone, please re-evaluate your life.
It should also be against the law to talk on your cell phone while you are on the toilet in a public BATHROOM. Good grief, people. Have some dignity. You can talk to your grandchild AFTER you finish your dookie. I kid you not, there was a lady in the bathroom the other day when I was somewhere who was talking to her grandkid while she was in the stall. “Oh, uh huh. Really? Your mom said what? (sound of tinkling) When are you getting your pony? (fart, poop splash) And then you hit her? Johnny, it’s not nice to hit. (flush)” Okay, that wasn’t the real conversation, but you get the idea. If I am ever faced with the choice of having to pee or talk on the phone RIGHT THIS SECOND rest assured I will always choose to pee first and talk to you later. No matter what is going on.
No thanks are necessary. Really. Consider it a public service.
Oh, and while we are on the subject…it is NOT against the law for you to let a call that comes in on your cell phone go to your voice mail. It is perfectly acceptable to return a phone call AT A TIME THAT IS CONVENIENT FOR YOU.
On a different topic all together:
I got this invitation in the mail the other day:
By throwing away this Rosey Awards reminder card you agree to enter a legal, binding, non-negotiable contract with Beelzebub, ruler and dark overlord of creative hell. In accordance with this contract you agree to subscribe in all forms of everlasting torture, including, but not limited to: tiny paper cuts, shoe-horning, ye ol’ noodle thumpin’, granny cakes, the Ecuadorian sweatbox, having your hands cut off and hidden in the bushes, belly button untying, and Tim. In addition to the aforementioned tortures you will also forfeit any and all releif and/or reward, specifically the Roseys. This would be a pretty bad decision since the Roseys are going to be especially awesome this year.
The Roseys, in case you didn’t know are some kind of advertising awards. I don’t know how I got on their mailing list. I can’t decide if this “invitation” is hilarious, vaguley disturbing, or completely insulting. What do you think?
And on another completely unrelated topic...did you know you can't pay cash at a Costco gas station? I went to Costco on the way home the other day and tried to hand the guy $60, and he said "We don't take cash, ma'am." What??? Who doesn't take CASH? Weird.
2 comments:
just for future knowledge, Costco only takes Amer Express or Discover. I found that out the hard way as well.
LMAO off about cell phones. What? No discussion over cell phones and driving? Those are the people who crack me up most? They are on the cell phone, with a cigarette and a Starbucks. And yet they are swerving all over the road going 20 miles below the speed limit. Go figure.
I figured I had covered the driving while on the cell phone topic pretty thouroughly in another post. I'm sure I'll have something to say about them again later!
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